So last night, in the wake of present and sugar highs from the recent holiday, we opted to tell the kids what was going on with me and my medical condition. When you ponder the situation, there's no real easy way to start the conversation. Yesterday afternoon I was home a bit early and the kids arrived shortly after my return. All week my son would sneak up on your and yell, "Secret Santa"! I decided to get back at him as they didn't realize I was home. I snuck out from the bed room and yelled "secret santa" and my daughter looked at me, screamed, and then continued screaming. If she was any younger I swear she would have peed her pants! I felt soo bad. Until I started the conversation that evening....
"Daddy's going to have to go to the hospital for a little while." Both kids started welling up and were starting to get upset. I explained that I'm going to be ok and the lightened up a bit. We talked about my needing to be in hospital for three weeks and that I'll be a bit banged up when I return but I'll be back to normal shortly thereafter. We were told to tell them both at the same time as my daughter (younger, going to be 6 very soon) would ask questions my son was afraid to ask. I don't think he was afraid, I think he would have never thought of these questions, "will you end up peeing out of your armpit?"
I didn't see that one coming!
At the end of the day I think they got it. We told them it was ok to talk about it with their friends but if any of their friends say something that they don't understand and potentially makes them scared then to come back and talk to us. We will give them the full answer, nobody else will know as much as we do, no matter what their friends say. I also explained that I will lose my hair and also set them at ease a bit in saying I lost my hair many years ago. This was the same thing and I've been doing well for the last three years - no reason to think I wont be the same for the next three years!
I tried to talk Dilyn into joining me in Promoting Global Hair Loss but he's not interested in cutting his hair! He felt bad and immediately wanted to see some of his toys, give us everything in his piggy bank and sell his sunglasses in order to raise money. I'll still try to talk him into it but I'm not going to pressure him - however, he'd be a big money raiser!
So the kids know now, I can be open about things - now just have to make sure they don't get scared! I'm glad they took it as well as they did!
I hope everyone has a great new year!
Bill
"Daddy's going to have to go to the hospital for a little while." Both kids started welling up and were starting to get upset. I explained that I'm going to be ok and the lightened up a bit. We talked about my needing to be in hospital for three weeks and that I'll be a bit banged up when I return but I'll be back to normal shortly thereafter. We were told to tell them both at the same time as my daughter (younger, going to be 6 very soon) would ask questions my son was afraid to ask. I don't think he was afraid, I think he would have never thought of these questions, "will you end up peeing out of your armpit?"
I didn't see that one coming!
At the end of the day I think they got it. We told them it was ok to talk about it with their friends but if any of their friends say something that they don't understand and potentially makes them scared then to come back and talk to us. We will give them the full answer, nobody else will know as much as we do, no matter what their friends say. I also explained that I will lose my hair and also set them at ease a bit in saying I lost my hair many years ago. This was the same thing and I've been doing well for the last three years - no reason to think I wont be the same for the next three years!
I tried to talk Dilyn into joining me in Promoting Global Hair Loss but he's not interested in cutting his hair! He felt bad and immediately wanted to see some of his toys, give us everything in his piggy bank and sell his sunglasses in order to raise money. I'll still try to talk him into it but I'm not going to pressure him - however, he'd be a big money raiser!
So the kids know now, I can be open about things - now just have to make sure they don't get scared! I'm glad they took it as well as they did!
I hope everyone has a great new year!
Bill
2 comments:
dear bill,
i commend you for this post; so many times parents are at a loss as to how to explain things - or even if they SHOULD - fearful of creating fear or sorrow. the message you've sent to your children is that they can trust you, that you are a family, and that families stick together through good times and those that are challenging. that's what families are for, to help and love and support one another, no matter what. good for you! i am sure this post will help other parents who find themselves in the dilemma of "what to tell the kids".
i am sending waves of hope and healing to you,
karen,TC
Karen, thank you for your thoughts and comments. It's a big issue to deal with and the kids have been great.
bill
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