Friday, February 26, 2010

Let me describe my feet

As I sit looking out at the wonder of The City after The Snurricane (snowicane, snowmageddon iii), I thought it the perfect opportunity to describe my feet and the pain I'm experiencing. It has nothing to do with the fact that my feet woke me up at 0503 in the morning and I couldn't get back to sleep - honest - it was a burning desire to lay down on paper (electronic paper, well sort of) the experience and adventure that is my foot pain. Now that I've got everyone pepped up for a good read...!

I don't know if this is immediately resultant of the Cytoxan. Refer back to this post for details on Cytoxan. If you look closely at the card, neuropathy is not one of the side effects listed (and thank god I didn't look closely at the card - losing your nails!?!) Now Velcade, the last dose of which was on 12 Jan, is in fact known for causing neuropathy and if it occurs you actually dial back your dosage to help stem the effect. So the Docs are a bit stuffed at this one, there are other causes (related to Myeloma patients) but I've got none of the symptoms associated with those causes - we're testing for them next week anyways. But back to my feet.

There are a variety of pains I experience. First - the dull ache in the heels. If you wear a bad pair of shoes you may have experienced this but I liken it to jumping off a small ledge, 3-4 feet and landing, bare-foot, on your heels. The resulting bruised heel would ache on a regular basis. I can't say that it's constant but, like I'm in near-complete remission, it's in near-complete awareness. Next, there is the ball of the feet, towards the front of the ball of the feet. this is an ache but mixed with a burning sensation although not hot to the touch. Again, this part is in near-complete awareness. Next, I have a variety of sensory effects that can be described but the description wanes in contrast to the physical experience. Everyone tells me, "you have to go on a cruise - until you've done it you just can't understand." I have no desire to take a cruise, perhaps I'm missing something. I have no desire to experience the sh!t that's going on with my feet but I didn't have a choice in that matter and am not recommending you give it a try! :)

To set the stage, as I said, there are a variety of sensory inputs. Where possible, I'll give you the opportunity to associate. Take a 9v battery and, gently mind you, tap the +/- ends to your tongue. That quick zap, very directional, of pain occurs in my toes. I can't say it's near-complete but it is a regularly occurring effect. Next, when you twinge a muscle and experience that sharp, inner pain that starts in a location and then seems to linger down a path, reducing in its power, that occurs in various parts of my feet. This isn't the constant muscle ache of a pulled muscle, this is picking up the kid in the wrong manner and that sharp, swift, twinge is the pain I'm talking about. I will be in a meeting and will physically jerk as something like that occurs, usually around the front of my heel, leading into the instep. This morning, waking up, the pain across my instep was electrical in nature but more of an irregular, pulsing flow that would approach the threshold of truly hurting but never quite cross, causing a dull but annoying pain. I can only liken, and again, not comlpetely, to having a muscle, taught across the instep, that is stretched too far and then released back to normal and then stretched again. It's not quite that as stretching the instep doesn't help. Then there's the irregular occurrences, one of which was this morning where I would move in a manner that is similar to the achilles heel stretch (find a fitness site to explain if this thought isn't familiar to all you slackers! :) and I would experience a sharp, shooting pain from the top (ankle) of the heel up the ankle into the back of the calf. Lastly, there's the overall burning sensation along with a dryness which feels like my feet are cracking. With the Olbas Oil and Cocoa Butter it hasn't been as dry but last night I didn't put on either of these which may be the reason I was up at 0503.

I think I've highlighted the bulk of what's going on in the feet. Beyond that I've also experienced a "mushiness" in the calves, like I'm really out of shape and just went and played touch football in Central Park - wait, that was 15 years ago when I really was out of shape. See how you can tie back these experiences if you really try!?! I'm not sure if the pains in my calves and the additional pains in my knees have been caused by my walking differently due to the issues in my feet. I don't notice the knee pains at all unless I have been walking alot, and usually in dress shoes. Aside from Monday, I've been wearing my aptly described 'man-clogs' every day. Today, with the Snurricane, I'll need to wear my Doc Martens and will hope for the best (they've not been the best thus far.)

For now, I hope you've enjoyed my little masochistic treatise on feet - now I must shower and prepare for work!


Tim said...

Gee, sounds like fun. How did the Birks hold up in the snow? Speaking of which, does cold help?

rugbyhubby said...

funny - but cold does help a bit. the birks (acutally uggs) are the only shoe that seems to work for me. the Docs (Martens) were needed this weekend but just killed me.